mY dIaRY

i’ve been living my alone
trying to get you out of my life
but after all this time
i can’t help myself but miss you

you’re once a dream that came true
an illusion that turned to reality
but suddenly, things turned differently
the way they used to be
untill such time i have no choice but to let you go

you’re the reason for my sleepless nights
coz you keep stayin’ on my mind
i can’t help myself from crying
coz i’m missing you so much

all the pain & sadness are bound inside my heart
all the memories are still preserve in my mind
i miss you so much
coz i can’t hide the fact that i’m still inlove with you

my life will never be the same again
now that you’re gone
i’ll be trapped in this loneliness forever
unless a boy like you will bloom into my life again….

I thought this was a letter I would never have to write,
I hoped my tongue was something I could bite.
I’ve realized its just something I cannot do,
Here are my feelings, just a few.
First, I’m still so In Love with you, after all this time,
You told me the same, then left me, what a crime.
Time has passed, everyday you’re on my mind,
Maybe Your love is with someone else now, what a bind.
The pain of losing you is still fresh in my brain,
everyday my heart feels the pain.
Will we ever be together again, i say as I sob and mope
as each day passes, I lose a little more hope.
I’ll always LOVE you hold these words true
Don’t hate me for this, this is what pain is making me do.
My heart is broken in so many a part,
Do I still have a place in your heart?….

this is dedicated 4 my friend, someone who feel sad, pain  and broken heart..
i hope u will found ur way an be happy all the time even without him…

                  I said a prayer for you today
                  And know God must have heard.
                  I felt the answer in my heart
                  Although He spoke not a word.

                  I didn’t ask for wealth or fame
                  (I knew you wouldn’t mind).
                  I asked for priceless treasure rare
                  Of a more lasting kind.

                  I prayed that He’d be near you
                  At the start of each new day
                  To grant you health and blessings fair,
                  And friends to share your way.

                  I asked for happiness for you
                  In all things great and small
                  But that you’d know his loving care
                  I prayed the most of all.

I watch you sleeping peacefully there
And hold you in my arms and think
What a joy you are to me
I touch your cheek as soft as silk
Your hair is like spun gold
I hold your little body close
And rock you to and fro
I sing you songs and lullabies
And say you are Daddy’s little boy
I see you smile your face alight
As you find new things a joy
I watch you toddle and stop your fall
I want to keep you from all harm
I know you are God’s special gift to me
You give me so much pleasure
Of all the things that a father could have
You are the greatest treasure.

Hope you are in heaven so no one can hurt your soul..

I may not have a lot of fame
Nor a mansion on a hill
I have no real fine gifts to give
There is nothing to reveal.

I do not have a lot of wealth
But I have the things I need
There are those who have most everything
Whose lives are full of greed?

I have a kind and loving heart
With gentleness doth reign
There are those who have no heart at all
And send out lots of pain.

I have a wonderful spirit
That will never grow jagged or old
There are those who have no feeling at all
Their days are dark and cold.

I have a wonderful pair of legs
To help me get around
There are those who have no legs at all
To lift them when they’re down.

I have a wonderful pair of arms
To give a hug or two
There are those who have no arms at all
To feel the love I do.

I have a wonderful pair of hands
To let me work and play
There are those who have no hands at all
To help them through the day.

I have a wonderful pair of ears
To listen to the rain
There are those who cannot hear at all
The splash upon the pane.

I have a wonderful pair of eyes
They have beheld some beautiful sights.
There are those who cannot see at all
Their world is black as night.

I have a wonderful sense of smell
And enjoyed the aroma of flowers
There are those who cannot know this joy
And miss life’s fragrant hours.

My life has been a rainbow
With only a bit of strife
Today I counted my blessings
I have a wonderful life…

I saw an angel last night,
Standing by my bed.
She came over, sat beside me,
And gently stroked my head.

She said, do not be afraid my child,
It was only a dream.
What you though had happened,
Is not as it may seem.

The Lord your God is with you,
As your sleeping through the night.
He stands beside you every minute,
And keeps you in his sight.

God said, I will never leave you,
Because you belong to me.
As your sleeping through the night,
Next to you is where I’ll be.

Ketika aku pikir sudah bs menjalani smua ini dengan ikhlas dan sabar ternyata aku blm bisa..
msh sulit untuk aku melupakan masa lalu..tidak mudah utk bs melupakan smua itu..meskipun aku yakin smua ada hikmah dan pelajaran yg bs aku petik, tp aku ga bs begitu saja menghilangkannya dr otakku.

aku dah berusaha mengenyahkannya dr pikiran dan otakku tp ternyata aku ga mampu….whats happen to me? why i being like this? i know this is my false,but why ……..

rasanya tdk habis pikir, aku dsini spt ini apa kau yg ada disana merasakan apa yg aku rasakan setiap hari?? apa kau juga berpikir spt yg aku pikirkan??

aaaaaaaaaaachhhhhhhhh…..rasanya sudah bosan, muak dgn hidupku spt ini.kapan aku akan merasakan kebahagiaan, kapan aku bs seperti mereka, temen²ku yg bs tertawa lepas…..
aku ga tau ……

Jika kau merasa lelah dan tak berdaya dari usaha yang sepertinya
sia-sia.. Allah SWT tahu betapa keras engkau sudah berusaha.

Ketika kau sudah menangis sekian lama dan hatimu masih terasa
pedih… Allah SWT sudah menghitung airmatamu.

Jika kau pikir bahwa hidupmu sedang menunggu sesuatu dan waktu
serasa berlalu begitu saja… Allah SWT sedang menunggu bersama
denganmu.

Ketika kau merasa sendirian dan teman-temanmu terlalu sibuk untuk
menelepon… Allah SWT selalu berada disampingmu.

Ketika kau pikir bahwa kau sudah mencoba segalanya dan tidak tahu
hendak berbuat apa lagi… Allah SWT punya jawabannya.

Ketika segala sesuatu menjadi tidak masuk akal dan kau merasa
tertekan… Allah SWT dapat menenangkanmu.

Jika tiba-tiba kau dapat melihat jejak-jejak harapan… Allah SWT
sedang berbisik kepadamu.

Ketika segala sesuatu berjalan lancar dan kau merasa ingin
mengucap syukur… Allah SWT telah memberkatimu.

Ketika sesuatu yang indah terjadi dan kau dipenuhi ketakjuban…
Allah SWT telah tersenyum padamu.

Ketika kau memiliki tujuan untuk dipenuhi dan mimpi untuk
digenapi… Allah SWT sudah membuka matamu dan memanggilmu dengan
namamu.

Ingatlah bahwa dimanapun kau atau kemanapun kau menghadap…Allah SWT
maha mengetahui.

Mom, there are so many moments when I wish you knew… how much you matter to me, and how much I thank you for being such a wonderful mother.

If there is happiness in my heart,it’s because you helped put it there.

If there is gentleness in my beliefs,it’s because you showed me how to care.

If there is understanding in my thinking,it’s because you shared your wisdom.

If there is a rainbow over my shoulder,it’s because of your outlook and your vision.

If there is a knowledge that I can reach out and I really can make some dreams come true, it’s because I learned from the best teacher of all.

I learned… from you…

In the times of my life, whether we are near or far, please remember, Mom,  that there could never be any mother more wonderful… than the one you are…

Only Hope

Aku terjerembab terlalu jauh

Ke dasar jurang yang begitu gelap

Tiada sebuah bintang pun yang menerangiku

Aku hanya meraba-raba

Kucoba tuk berpijak

Merangkak menggapai kebahagiaan

Tapi…..

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Kulihat…

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Kuhanya tergagap dan berucap

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